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First World Problems Meme

First World Problems.

Today I saw a Kindle giveaway at a blog I follow. To get an extra entry, you could leave a comment telling why you want to win the Kindle. Out of curiosity, I decided to read a few of them and I came across this one:

So my kids can take it to school & read during Silent Reading Time. All of the kids in their class have a Kindle, so mine feel left out.
-Farrah Morelli

Was it only seven years ago when I was still in elementary school, and actually had “silent reading time” with physical books?

A Kindle is not what your kids need. What they need is a book. You know those paper things that don’t need to be charged? Those things that smart people read and not-so-smart people use as paper weights? Those things that you can throw at a wall? And that you can borrow for FREE at the library? And you can also read them in your bathtub without freaking out if they drop in? Well, actually I would still freak out, but I would freak out more if my Kindle fell in. And according to E-How, you can save a watersoaked book by putting it in the freezer…for a month (and it will smell freezerburnt, but I guess that can be fixed with perfume.) Can you save a Kindle by putting it in the freezer? I don’t think so.

Remember me? I smell good.

If you want your kids to succeed. A Kindle isn’t the way to go. In fact, being Kindle-less is a perfect opportunity. When I was in fourth grade, I brought Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol to school to make my teacher think I had refined reading tastes. I would purposely read by stealthily putting the book on the desk with the cover facing outward. I didn’t even like the book, and barely read it–but it made my teacher think I liked Dickens. Fourth-graders are not made to read Dickens. How Matilda did it is beyond me. And guess who was known as the class’ reader? (Okay, in my defense, I actually did read. A lot. Just not Charles Dickens.) I think I did it in middle school with Wuthering Heights and To Kill A Mockingbird, but don’t tell my English teachers. Can you be pretentious with a Kindle? Not unless you stare at the cover, but that would just be too obvious.

The kind of book that you should read with an e-reader lest people look at you funny.

I am fortunate enough to have a Kindle touch, which comes in handy for reading review copies off Netgalley and reading on the run. But I have to admit, I think having an physical book makes me look smarter. In the past week, I saw two people reading IQ84 by Haruki Murakami on the bus and I inevitably think, “Good taste!” Compared to the people with e-readers that make me thinking “hmph, I wish I had their e-readers.” Don’t get me wrong, I do think e-readers are very useful, especially for romance/erotic novels with naked people on their covers. Which is precisely why I will be reading Fifty Shades of Grey on my Kindle. Do you want teachers thinking your kids are reading Fifty Shades of Grey? I don’t think so.

I am wondering if I am I am already that detached from the younger generation. I am a nineties kid, and I thought I was spoiled with Pokemon, Zelda (Zelda is the name of the princess, not the dude. the dude’s name is Link), Mario, and Neopets. I admit I sometimes go back to Neopets, because it’s really a lot more fun when you actually know what you are doing. AND NEOPETS ARE CUTE.

Maybe I am just jealous; jealous of Kids with IPads and IPhones. I think I am already spoiled with a laptop, a IPod nano (3rd generation), and recently, a Kindle Touch. When I was eighteen I received my first cellphone, which was a hand me down from my sister. I ended up accidentally breaking the phone, but I’ll talk about that another day. I think I might be turning into my parents who feed me “When I was younger…” stories incessantly. You can never win: whatever you do today, they did better yesterday…and probably while carrying a cow on their back. While I hear my parents drone about how sad their lives were I would be thinking “BUT THAT STUFF WAS IN THE PAST, we don’t live like that anymore!” Now I wonder if I wonder if I am saying the same thing to the younger generation under the guise of wisdom. If I didn’t have an IPhone when I was eight, why should they?

But at the end of the day, I have a Kindle Touch…and I entered that Kindle giveaway. Yes, I am a greedy pig.

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